So what’s up with guys and fantasy football anyway? Let’s see if we’re understanding the basics here. Each guy pretends that he’s an “owner” of his own fantasy NFL franchise. Then he gathers with his fellow Bromasters of the universe, the league’s other fictional owners, for a make-believe draft, an event that can only occur after all participants have idled away endless hours studying last year’s game statistics, injury reports, the college draft, trade transactions blah blah. Then, after painstakingly assembling his imaginary team, each week our intrepid gridiron strategist picks a fantasy lineup, from his pretend team, to engage in a virtual competition against someone else’s make-believe team. The winner of this weirdly fanciful role-playing simulation can then only be determined after an exhaustive statistical analysis of real world game performances tallying 6 pts per rushing touchdown, 6 pts per receiving touchdown, 3 pts per passing touchdown, 6 pts for a safety and defensive touchdown, 3 pts per field goal, 1 pt per extra point, -1 pt for Interceptions thrown, 2 pts for a rushing conversion, 2 pts for a receiving conversion, 1 pt per passing……….. Ugh! Rinse and repeat for each week of the imaginary season.
What’s a girl to conclude from all of this you ask, besides the fact that whatever man wins his fantasy football league is a man who leads a decidedly tiny, sad life? First, your instincts were right all along – football is boring. Even men had to start “fantasizing” to keep things interesting. And second, if you had a dollar for every hour the men in your life waste playing fantasy football, you could buy this absolutely stunning Betsey Johnson Bustle Dress and kick off your own fantasy. Go on, start bustling, and show them a back really worth fantasizing about.  Get the dress